Baby steps...

I am experiencing a new feeling. A feeling of happiness. I have been depressed and have had trouble getting out of bed or doing the simpliest things. Though I am happy now I still have trouble getting out of bed a dealing with reality. I am totally in love and when I am with her the "real world" fades to the point that I forget it exists. When I am not with her I sleep, perchance to dream of her, until I can see her again. Love and depression do not make me functionable in society. But maybe they aren't to blame. Maybe it's something else altogether. Is it a physical problem? Am I just lazy? Does living in a world where injustice thrives on the misery of others cause me to put up walls and hide because I feel impotent? It's never just one factor and if I just try to "fix" one part of the problem, the problem will still exist. Baby steps... baby step into the world...baby step into responsibility...baby step into a position where I can make a difference...baby step into......revolution? Hope drives me. I recently got a boost of hope when my best friend found some herself. Hope is something that has been on my mind for a while now. It really is amazing. If you share it with others it spreads and grows. It sustains us through hard times and helps us grow into who we want to be. I have hope in spades now but why can I still not be productive. I lack the drive to get myself on a path to the destination because it seems too far away. If accomplishment happened over night I guess everyone would do it. But maybe without realizing it I have already taken the first steps and though the destination is veiled from my eyes at least now I have someone to walk beside me.